Assertiveness

THE TENSION

Assertiveness. Technical leaders often have the clearest read in the room. They have analysed the data, they understand the constraints, and they can see where the decision is going wrong. And then they say nothing - because they are not sure it is their place, or their moment, or their call.

“Insight that stays in your head has no value to anyone except you.”

THE SCENARIO

Mei-Ling Huang has been Mapping and Urban Planning GIS Team Lead at Wagga Wagga City Council for seven months. She supports the planning team with spatial analysis for master plans, development overlays, and environmental constraints mapping. She is technically precise, deeply knowledgeable, and consistently underestimated by people who have not worked with her long enough to know better.

This morning’s planning committee meeting is reviewing a proposed development on the urban fringe. Mei-Ling has prepared the constraints analysis. She knows, from the data, that one portion of the site sits within a flood modelling uncertainty zone that the committee’s summary document has not addressed. The risk is not catastrophic. But it is material and it should be on the table.

She has been in this meeting for forty minutes. She has not raised it.

The planning manager, David, runs the discussion with confidence. He is decisive and moves quickly. Mei-Ling finds herself waiting for the right moment. It doesn’t quite arrive. The committee moves to a recommendation. The decision is made.

On the way out, Mei-Ling mentions the flood zone to David. He stops walking. “Why didn’t you say that in the room?”

She doesn’t have a good answer for him. She knew. She had the floor. She waited.

WHAT’S DRIVING IT

Assertiveness is the willingness to express your thoughts and needs firmly and directly while being considerate of others and aware of consequences. It is being resolute, straight, and effective. For many technical leaders - particularly those who have spent their careers in supportive specialist roles - assertiveness in a leadership context requires an active choice. The habit of waiting for permission to speak is deeply ingrained.

Mei-Ling’s silence in that meeting was not humility. It was a failure to bring her most important contribution to the table at the moment it was needed. The data she held was the most valuable thing in the room. Her reluctance to assert it was the most costly decision made that day.

Assertiveness is the bridge between what you know and what the organisation can act on. Without it, expertise becomes expensive scenery.

A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH ASSERTIVENESS

A healthy relationship with assertiveness means you are predominantly straight and unambiguous in your communication - you name what you see, share what you know, and express your needs and expectations without waiting for an invitation. You are bold in communicating what is required, without becoming domineering. You are comfortable expressing yourself without emotional escalation, and you do so with care for the people and the outcome.

Others experience you as direct and trustworthy, as someone whose perspective they can count on being offered rather than waited for. Your team benefits from seeing this modelled: when you assert yourself clearly and respectfully, you give them permission to do the same.

REFLECTION PROMPTS

• In your last significant meeting, did you say everything you knew that was relevant - or did you hold some of it back? What decided that?

• Is there a recurring situation where you have the most relevant knowledge in the room but consistently say the least?

• What is the story you tell yourself about why it’s not your place to speak up - and how much is that story costing the people around you?

• What would it look like to be assertive in the way Mei-Ling could have been - direct, clear, and in service of a better decision?

If you recognise the gap between what you know and what you say -

the Being Profile looks at how assertiveness operates in your leadership pattern - and what becomes possible when your insights reach the room.

Get in touch at hello@mappingbeing.com.au

While the organisations referenced exist, the team lead, other people and the team name have been used for demonstration purposes only. Any resemblance to real-life people, teams, organisations or situations is purely coincidental.

Reference: Tashvir, A. (2021). BEING (p. 471). Engenesis Publications.

[Published 11 June 2026]